Wednesday, July 22, 2009

What is the Mommy's equivalent to golf?

Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed being a "stay at home" mom the past 7 months....Although I have blogged about the stresses of mothering 2 kids, I am glad I'll have this year to spend with my 2 kids, because after my mat leave, I'll be working full time.

Now, we all know that the work of a stay at home mom is just as difficult, if not more, than our "daddy" counterparts' work. I don't know what your husbands like to do, but I have a husband that likes to golf and play hockey. While I don't want to deny him his recreational time, since he definitely deserves it. When he golfs, he enjoys 5 hours of time with his friends and no kids....when he plays hockey, it's 2 hours of time for himself and no kids. Hockey is at least once a week, and golf is usually 1-2 times a month. How I would love to have 2 hours of time by myself once a week, and 5 hours once a month...but what does a mommy do? I can think of shopping, or spa time....is there anything else?
If you have any suggestions/ideas, please post your comments!! :)
Thanks

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Thank goodness for grandparents

At this exact moment, it is 10:55am, I am relaxing on my couch...Nathan is asleep, and Isabel is at "Ah-Pah" and Ah-Mah's house...(her names for her paternal grandparents). It is rare that I am lying on my couch with my laptop at 10:55am, so I am enjoying it while I can!!My FIL (Father in Law), Isabel's 'Ah Pah' has the next 3 days off work, so they came last night and whisked her away to their house. In the beginning, she wasn't that keen on sleeping over there...now she prefers to sleep there instead of at home. I'm not sure if I should feel lucky or a bit jealous. My kids are my in-law's only grandchildren, so they spoil them, dote on them and spend almost every moment they can with them.

(right is my FIL, with Nathan)

Sometimes I am so grateful that they just take my kids so willingly...and sometimes I feel like they "take over" my kids a bit. I know they only have the best intentions for the kids, but sometimes I feel like I want to spend some quality time with my kids and my husband by ourselves...so we can bond as a family of 4.
I am glad Isabel and Nathan will be able to know their grandparents well...I never had that opportunity. My grandparents (both sets) were a far awayentity in Japan, and I saw them once every few years.

(near left is a photo of my maternal grandma from Japan with Isabel at 2 months old, just days before she passed away, far left is a photo of my mom with Isabel and newborn Nathan)

Vivian on the other hand, lived with his maternal grandparents and was essentially raised by them, and as a result, was very close to them, until they passed away last year. He wasn't as close to his paternal grandmother, but did see her and talk to her often.
My mom will be moving in with us this summer, and will be helping us look after the kids, especially after I go back to work.....so the kids will also know their maternal grandmother well also. We also lived with my mom for 2 years, so Isabel is used to having my mom around. My mom says there is some Japanese saying about kids that are raised by their grandparents turn out "nicer" or something like that. I don't know about that, but I do believe that a grandparent's influence on a child can be that much greater than that of a parent. I'm not sure what it is about grandparents....they command a certain respect. They've been through alot, more than we probably will know. They have a wisdom, that comes with age, I assume, and they will impart that wisdom on our kids, if we are lucky.
Vivian and I certainly feel very lucky to have our parents to help us raise our kids, especially ones that do it so willingly. They are always there to help us when we are in a bind, and when I've "had it up to here" with them and can't wait to get them off my hands. For those who also have their parents, in-laws helping you out with your kids... consider yourselves so fortunate. Not only does it take the parenting "burden" of you, your kids will get to know their grandparents better, which is a gift in itself.
(below is my MIL with Isabel)